Noel Gallagher Is The Music World’s Brett Favre

It looks like Liam, lead singer of Oasis, has caused his brother, Noel, to quit the band for the 273rd time. BBC News has a cool article with a timeline that will explain all the insanity surrounding the band over the years.

Considering he left the band prior to this and they released a new album last year, you can take this all with a grain of salt. Here is the official word from Noel straight off of the Oasis website:

“It’s with some sadness and great relief to tell you that I quit Oasis tonight. People will write and say what they like, but I simply could not go on working with Liam a day longer. Apologies to all the people who bought tickets for the shows in Paris, Konstanz, and Milan.”

This is actually a bummer to me because…well…I have always like Oasis. It’s odd for me, a massive indie music snob, to admit this but it’s true. Not only do I like them, I actually think they are good.

“Guitar Hero” Now Sucks More Than Anything Has Ever Sucked Before

It’s bad enough that thousands upon thousands of kids have decided to play “Guitar Hero” instead of actually learning how to play guitar. I can’t stress enough how much I despise the game and everything that about it. Spare me the “kids get to hear classic rock” argument too, I’ve heard it and they can listen to that stuff on iTunes while they learn real f’ing guitar chords.

Activision has put Kurt Cobain in “Guitar Hero 5″. It’s one of the creepiest things ever and one can only assume that Courtney Love gave the go-ahead on this one. She is 100% pure evil, plain and simple.

Cinematically Correct note: The t-shirt that Kurt is wearing in this video game is a Daniel Johnston t-shirt. Johnston is an Austin, TX based singer/songwriter, that grew up in northern West Virginia. He is also bipolar, so you can see how Kurt dug him. Google him, he’s an interesting story.

It’s Been Too Long: New Insanity From Ryan Adams

It’s been quite some time since Ryan Adams made something ridiculous and slapped it up on the Internet. I miss the days when Ryan was Tumblr blogging nonsense about metal tunes, pizza, and random insane videos. Well, he has apparently decided to write video game reviews now. In the first installment, he reviews the old school arcade game GORF. Yes…GORF.

Come back Ryan…the Internet misses you.

Speedos, Regardless Of Color, Look Good On No Man

I checked out ABC’s “Shaq Vs.” show a few nights ago. For those of you unaware, the show’s concept has Shaquille O’Neal going up against athletes in other sports. For instance, if he lost his volleyball match against Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, he said he would wear a pink Speedo. Well…he lost and the clip of Shaq in Speedo is below.

Forget the Speedo though, the show just isn’t that great. Sure, Shaq is funny and all, but the fact that those douchebaggy announcers keep jabbering on throughout the course of the sixty minute show is a total beatdown. Who the hell are those guys anyway?

Battle Of The Movie Critic Snobs

If you are familiar with Jeffrey Wells at Hollywood Elsewhere, you know that he can be pretty damn condescending. He’s a big time liberal and pretty much despises everyone that doesn’t think the way he does. If you are familiar with his posts, well, this video pretty much hits the nail on the head.

Two Batman Rumors…One Good, The Other Is Totally & Completely Awful

Do you really want this glorified nookie girl ruining Batman?

The good news? There is word from AintItCoolNews that Christopher Nolan may shoot the next Batman flick entirely with IMAX cameras.For those of you that had an opportunity to see “The Dark Knight” on IMAX, you know how incredibly badass those few IMAX scenes looked. I can’t imagine the cost and effort that would go into filming an entire movie like that but it could be worth it.

Bad news? There are a few reports that Megan Fox has come to an agreement to play Catwoman. This…sucks. It’s bad enough that NBC has her hosting the first “SNL” this fall. Isn’t that usually reserved for big stars? She has been in two freaking movies, one of which is an embarrassment beyond measure. If you were looking for a reason to doubt the next Batman movie, well, here it is with a big red whorish ribbon on it.

Please Megan Fox, stick to crap summer action flicks designed to make fanboys pants go crazy over talking robots and you in hot pants. Do not stick your nose into my world of smart action flicks.

Columbia Pictures Officially Moving On Sequel To “Hancock”

Columbia has hired two former writers from “The Shield”, Adam Fierro and Glen Mazzara to write a sequel to the Will Smith movie “Hancock”. The Hollywood Reporter is reporting that they will be working with director Peter Berg and star Will Smith on the storyline that was…hold on here. Why the hell would anyone want to see another “Hancock”? That movie was freaking terrible and the fact that Will Smith is willing to go forward with this is proof positive that guy is all about the dollar signs.

Has Christopher Nolan Made The Next “Matrix”?

Make no mistake about it, Christopher Nolan is one of the best directors working today. His track record is pretty damn impressive so far, with nothing but good to great movies. He hit critical and commercial paydirt with “The Dark Knight”. Of course, no one in the Academy saw the movie and not only was the movie hosed in the Best Picture race last year, Nolan was really, really, I mean really f’ed over for a Best Director nomination.

With his next movie, “Inception”, Nolan may have found the right formula for “Dark Knight”-ish success. It looks pretty damn intriguing and he’s got Leonardo DiCaprio (who the Academy is dying to hand an Oscar to) in the lead role. I wish this movie came out this year instead of “Avatar”.

New Header Dedicated To This Version Of “Top Gun”

“District 9″ Wins Due To Intense Action & Thought-Provoking Story

There is a formula that filmmakers must follow when they make an alien movie. First, you have to decide if the aliens are going to be good or evil. Second, you have to decide which humans are going to help the aliens and which ones are going to try and harm them. Third, you have to decide what the aliens end game is. You know, whether they want to help the human race, enslave us, eat us, or just try to kill us all. There are other ingredients, but those are a few that you always find in sci-fi.

Due to using new ingredients, “District 9″ tastes completely different. I’m not ruining the movie for you by saying that even after seeing the flick, you will not be sure why the aliens decided to plant their mothership above Johannesberg. You won’t know whether these aliens do want to harm us or just say hello.

The movie begins as a faux-documentary. We learn that the alien’s ship showed up over Johannesburg in 1982. A private military/science group called Multi-National United (MNU) enters the ship to learn that some two million aliens inside are malnourished and in need of help. The MNU builds an alien refugee camp, called District 9, outside the city in an effort to save the alien lives. Just as most human camps of this kind do, the alien camp becomes a slum and succumbs to crime. South African thugs move in and basically extort the aliens and the MNU is forced to police the aliens for illegal weapons and such. Not only do the aliens have to deal with their shack homes, lack of food, and bad humans, the general public has come up with a slang name for them, dubbing them “prawns” due to their shrimp-like faces.

The “documentary” follows Wikus Van De Merwe (Sharlto Copley), who is in charge of the MNU effort to move the aliens from District 9 to the more concentration like District 10 camp. During the move, we meet an alien named Christopher, who, along with his young son, is collecting some sort of liquid from numerous pieces of broken alien technology. While searching Christopher’s shack in the slum, Wikus finds this liquid and accidentally ingests some of it. It doesn’t take too long to see what is happening to Wikus, after he gets a black nose bleed and starts to painfully and grotesquely lose his finger nails. This also gets the attention of the MNU, who we learn has been secretly conducting tests on the aliens in an effort to, you guessed it, utilize their alien weaponry.

To give any more up would ruin the surprises and thrills, which are fast and furious. Trust me, this is one intense movie. The documentary-style film stops about midway through the movie and the intensity gets amped up even further. First time feature-length director Neill Blomkamp manages to make every single moment of the movie filled with suspense and a fear that something terrible is about to happen.

Since this film was produced by Peter Jackson, one would expect some great effects and “District 9″ has some of the best I’ve seen in quite some time. The aliens are unbelievably lifelike. Every single one of them was CGI, but the detail is so amazing that you would believe they are actual practical effects. The action sequences are fantastic in the sense that you can always see what is happening and nothing looks fake, which is a big hang up for me these days.

The action is fantastic and will keep you glued to your seat, but the story is also quite clever. As I said earlier, you don’t know what the alien’s plan really is. However, you do know that the alien Christopher and his son are intent on getting to their mothership in an effort to contact their home planet. Their father-son relationship and the bond that eventually forms with Wikus is really what makes the movie go. You won’t find out how or why they end up working together from me, but it is well worth the price of admission to find out for yourself.

“District 9″ is truly a groundbreaking sci-fi movie. It has everything you would want in an action movie, including some thoughtful political commentary on humanity and our nature to fear what we don’t understand. If you can handle some extremely gory action (I am not kidding either, it’s nasty), this is well worth checking out.