Apple TV: The Verdict

I'm naming my first child iKid.

Any search on this blog will tell you that I am part of the Cult Of Apple. The iPod, iPhone, iMac, even an Apple AirPort, this house is about as close to an Apple Store as you can get. Minus the bearded, overweight virgins.

So, the latest addition has been Apple TV. It’s commonly known as kind of a fail for Apple, which is very rare. Don’t give me that antenna nonsense on the iPhone 4 either. How many people do you know that said, “Oh f— it. I’m taking the iPhone 4 back.” Yeah, that’s what I thought.

So what do I think of Apple TV after a bit over a month of use? It’s very hit and miss. The hits are great and the misses are some real head scratchers.

• Movies

This is a bit iffy here. Once you sit down and press play after buying or renting a movie, the sound and HD picture could not be any more amazing. I recently watched “Kick Ass” on it, then immediately afterward, popped “Star Trek” in the Bluray. It would be very nitpicky to point out any difference in the two. However, as a huge movie snob, I’ve realized that I would never buy a movie through iTunes as it still just can’t compete with a Bluray disc. It’s close, but just a bit off.

So what good is this device for movies? Movie rental seems to be where Apple would make it’s mark with this device. It’s not that expensive to rent an HD movie and it works better than Netflix for me because I’ve been known to get a movie in the mail, then have it sit for weeks before watching it. The rental downside? It took my Apple TV just about six hours to download “Kick Ass” when we decided to watch it. Lesson learned. So if you plan on having a movie night, you’re best served picking the movie the night before or the morning of.

Grade: Better than having a monkey punch your crotch, but not quite as good as making out with the homecoming queen.

• Music

To be honest, this is the main reason I purchased the Apple TV. No longer do I have to plug my iPod into my stereo in order to listen to music on the home theater system. Now, I just turn on the Apple TV, open up iTunes on the iMac, and pow, my entire iTunes library is right there. I even use the Remote app on my iPhone to control the music from anywhere in the house. Folding laundry and you don’t want to hear “The Girl Is Mine”? Click your phone and it’s skipped.

Grade: It’s like having dinner with Christina Hendricks.

• Photos, Podcast, Internet

Once you sync the Apple TV to your iMac, you can look at everything in your iPhoto library. You can watch slideshows set to music, all in the beauty of HD. I normally do this with pictures of myself in which I look particularly awesome. I then set the slideshow to Enrique Iglesias’ “Hero”. Then, I take off my pants. I like to get weird with it.

The lamest thing about the Apple TV is the Internet. By Internet, I mean You Tube because that is all you can do on it. No browser, nothing. It is fairly stupid, considering the device is all WiFi’d up. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but it would be nice to have a bit more online ability.

Grade: A total bulsh timewaste. Why you would even spend time looking a pictures, listening to a podcast, or goofing around on YouTube with this device is beyond me.

• The Oh So Final Analysis

This is, at best, something that would only make sense for someone with a huge iTunes library and a penchant to never watch their Netflix discs. Luckily, that is me, which is why I bought the thing. The rumor is that Apple is working on some improvements for the device, one of which is an App Store just for what will be called iTV. Can you imagine a Monopoly app for the iTV? You just gather everyone the TV with an Apple remote and bang, we’re playing board games on the TV. Pretty cool stuff right?

So yes, I am lukewarm on the features of an Apple product. Phew. The Earth is still spinning. I was worried about that.

Happy Birthday To My Musical Savior, Jeff Tweedy. I Love You.

Not the best shot of Tweedy, but I love this guitar.

In honor of Jeff Tweedy’s 43rd birthday today, I am doing my normal routine of listening to every Wilco album in chronological order. Why yes, it is very Rob Gordon of me.

In addition to celebrating Wilco’s entire catalog, I’ve decided to make two Wilco lists. Yes, lists. It’s also very Rob Gordon of me.

Wilco Albums: Worst To First

7. “A Ghost Is Born”

6. “Being There”.

5. “A.M.”

4. “Sky Blue Sky”

3. “Wilco (The Album)”

2. “Summerteeth”

1. “Yankee Hotel Foxtrot”

This is not the order in which you should listen to this band. If you’re new to Wilco, I suggest “Sky Blue Sky” first. It’s their most commercially pleasing album to date. Also if you’re new to Wilco, what the hell is wrong with you?

The Cinematically Correct Top Ten Wilco Songs That Are My Favorite Ten Wilco Songs

10. I Must Be High

9. Monday

8. Impossible Germany

7. I’m The Man Who Loves You

6. Theologians

5. One Wing

4. A Shot In The Arm

3. Say You Miss Me

2. Casino Queen

1. I Am Trying To Break Your Heart

Honorable Mention: Too Far Apart, I Got You, Outtasite, Can’t Stand It, ELT, Kamera, Jesus Etc., Pot Kettle Black, Hummingbird, The Late Greats, You Are My Face, What Light, Wilco (The Song), You And I, You Never Know

Fincher’s “The Social Network” To Come Complete With Hookers & Blow

Note to Academy: Stop ignoring Fincher.

Let me get this straight as I am confused. David Fincher and co. were thinking about taking the nose candy and knockers out of “The Social Network”? Really? No way right? I mean, how can you make a movie about a 20-something overnight multimillionaire that doesn’t involve them doing blow off of a hooker’s boob? Isn’t that standard operating procedure ? It has to go like this:

1. Invent something.
2. Get filthy rich.
3. Buy coke.
4. Hire strippers.
5. Put coke on strippers boob.
6. Sniff.
7. Repeat.

Ah yes, cocaine humor. That’s where this blog is heading. It’s a sad day my tens of readers, a sad day.

Well, it looks like my Leader (one of many) David Fincher is indeed going to keep this key process in the flick. Until this little episode, it hadn’t even crossed my mind that this movie was going for a PG-13 rating. Did anyone think this wasn’t going to be a hard R-rated flick? We’re talking about college aged kids becoming billionaires here, I’m sure they probably said the f-word.

Regardless, I can’t wait to see this one. From what I’ve read so far, Fincher doesn’t disappoint. Of course, one of those reviews is from that moron Peter Travers, a guy that loved “MacGruber”. Travers is a movie critic savage. He’s beyond douchery.

The Fall TV Schedule With Shows That Are So Good That You’ll Want To Be Watching Because This Schedule Is So Good

This blog feels neglected. Last week, my job kept me from blogging and recording my first acoustic solo album of alt-country covers. I was going to originally call it Dr. Mantis Toboggan Presents, but now I’ve decided to operate under the name Nicotine Jedi. I’m going with a Bonnie Prince Billy or Bon Iver type deal. You know, a band name even though I’m only one guy with an acoustic guitar, an iMac, and a bunch of alone time.

So this morning during my weekly sales meeting, I figured up my 2010 Fall TV schedule. The removal of “Lost” has left a gigantic void in my life, as it is has for society in general. Pray for me America. Pray so very, very hard.

So here’s the schedule. Mark you DVRs accordingly.

Monday

• The Event, 9 PM, NBC
• Lone Star, 9 PM, Fox
• Hawaii Five-O, 10 PM, CBS

Tuesday

• No Ordinary Family, 8 PM, ABC
• Raising Hope, 9 PM, Fox
• Running Wilde, 9:30 PM, Fox
• Detroit 1-8-7, 10 PM, ABC

Wednesday

• Undercovers, 8 PM, NBC
• Terriers, 10 PM, FX

Thursday

• The Office, 9 PM, NBC
• It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, 10 PM, FX

Friday

• Good Guys, 9 PM, Fox

Sunday

• Boardwalk Empire, 9 PM, HBO
• Bored To Death, 10 PM, HBO

There are also two shows that aren’t on the schedule yet: “V” and “Archer”. Those will definitely make the first cut.

Soak Up Robert Duvall In All His Rustic Greatness In “Get Low”

There really can be little argument that Robert Duvall is one of the greatest actors of all time. His resume, whether it be directing, acting, or producing, really speaks for itself. Last year, he produced the successful “Crazy Heart”. He directed himself to his finest performance ever in “The Apostle”. It’s kind of crazy that he has just the one Oscar to his credit.

Duvall may not add to his trophy case, but he will most certainly be one of the five nominees for Best Actor after his performance in “Get Low”. Sure, this eccentric hermit is a role just tailored for him to excel at, but that doesn’t make the output any less impressive. He’s still on top of his game and, as we creep up on his 80th birthday, he does not show any signs of slowing down.

In “Get Low”, Duvall plays Felix Bush, a man that has lived in a cabin in the remote woods all by himself for 40 years. He’s got the standard look that you would expect: long beard, long hair, ratty clothes, rifle in hand. You know, classic crazed hermit. Of course, after overhearing once conversation between Felix and a tombstone, you get the immediate sense that there is so much more to this man than the wild rumors about him that circulate the town.

In said town, there is a down on his luck undertaker Frank (Bill Murray) and his young assistant Buddy (Lucas Black). They are having some trouble keeping their funeral home afloat because, according to Frank, people just aren’t dying enough. Just imagine Bill Murray saying those words. Only Murray could say something as callous and uncaring, yet make you chuckle while doing it. Lucky for Frank and Buddy, Felix wants to have what he calls a “funeral party”, which by his own definition will be his own funeral that he will attend.

Zany right? While there are plenty of moments in “Get Low” that will warm your heart and make you smile, this isn’t much of a laugh-a-minute comedy. This is a serious character study about a man that has some serious scars on his heart, yet managed to keep his grace, wit, and mind while living in a fair amount of squalor. Throw in some sort of former love interest in Sissy Spacek’s Mattie and you’ve got yourself one thought-provoking story about human kindness and tragedy.

While the story alone would probably make “Get Low” an entertaining enough flick, there’s no doubt that the actors really take this one to the next level. I was mostly surprised by Lucas Black and just how well he handled himself as he never really had a scene without Duvall and/or Murray. Spacek plays a bit of a different character for her. Sure, she’s a southern lady, but she’s not as tough as nails in this one. The way she talked and smiled made me think she was some kind of beauty queen as a youngster. Murray is Murray. Anybody else plays this undertaker as a sleazy, silly money-grubber, but Murray busts out his typical sly, smarmy charm, never chews the scenery, and puts yet another understated, fairly great dramatic performance in the books.

Before I lavish praise on Robert Duvall, I briefly want to mention Bill Cobbs. I linked to his IMDB page so you can see the actor that I mean. Yeah, you’ve seen him before. Let me perhaps be the first to say that if received any attention for Best Supporting Actor from this, you will not get an argument from me. He is in the movie for three scenes at maybe 15 minutes total, but he plays a pivotal role and his initial scene with Duvall is one of my favorite that I’ve seen in 2010. He was just fantastic and it would be a great thing for such a long tenured character actor.

At the end of the day, this is Robert Duvall’s world and everyone else is just living in it. He’s on-screen for maybe three minutes and you completely buy into Felix. He grunts, he mumbles, he breathes heavy, he stares at people while they speak with his own mouth open, just not realizing what he’s doing. Duvall’s Felix isn’t crazy, he’s just not used to people, but he seemingly expects them to be immediately used to him. Simply put: Duvall is a joy to watch.

See 1:00 Of Insane Joaquin Phoenix

Here’s the trailer for the documentary about Joaquin Phoenix’s foray into the gangster rap world. Yes, it looks self-indulgent, self-important, pretentious, pointless, idiotic, other negative words to describe an egomaniac.

I’m interested.

Star Wars Nerdiness Hits A New High And/Or Low

Over the weekend, George Lucas decided to feed his blindly insane worshippers some table scraps. There was a Star Wars convention in Orlando over the weekend and Beardy O’Flannel (that’s my nickname for Lucas, it’ll catch on someday) showed them a deleted scene from “Return Of The Jedi”. It’s about ten seconds of stuff and these geeks start whooping and hollering as if they had finally seen a boob for the first time. Really. For God’s sake people, it’s five seconds of Luke fondling a lightsaber with a Phillips head screwdriver. Big f’ing deal.

The Paul Rudd For Oscar Campaign Starts Right Here

There’s really only one director/writer that has shown he’s able to consistently get actors Oscar nominations for largely comedic-type roles. That would be James L. Brooks. Did this guy kind of invent the dramedy? “Terms Of Endearment” is 100% certified greatness, “As Good As It Gets” has what I feel to be Jack Nicholson’s second best performance of his career, and now, Brooks is going to get my favorite actor on the Oscar train. Paul Rudd. Believe it buddy.

Don’t think it can happen? Watch this trailer and see the potential gold that Rudd has with this role. It seems like the type of lovable,down on his luck loser that he will just smoke out of the park.

John Belushi: Redux

The cigarette is what brings this bit together for me.

Anybody see the 1989 John Belushi biopic “Wired”? Yeah, me either. It does star the greatest bad cop of all time Vic Mackey as Belushi, which is kind of tough for me to imagine. Sure, I like Michael Chiklis but I don’t know if I can picture him running around like a crazy drunkard loon. A bloodthirsty, vengeful cop yes, stoner, no.

Since nobody has seen that flick and John Belushi’s tale of woe is so intriguing, Warner Brothers has decided to get cracking on an official Belushi story, complete with the blessings of the Belushi family estate. Interesting right? Throw in Todd Phillips (who actually has directed a few decent documentaries) and you have got some serious potential for a pretty good look at Belushi’s amazing, yet short life.

So, now that this movie has just a hint of happening, why not further the rumor mill? Let’s all get together and figure out who should play this comedic legend.

• Zach Galifianakis. This is a fairly obvious choice. He’s definitely, umm, portly enough to play Belushi. The biggest hangup with him is the fact that is already eight years older than Belushi was at the time of his death.
• Seth Rogen. Wouldn’t it kind of be sad if Rogen was told to gain some weight for this role after all the hubbub over his recent weight loss? He is definitely the right age and definitely believable as the hard partying stoner. Wouldn’t be a stretch.
• Jonah Hill. He would have to lose a person but I honestly am leaning towards him the most. He seems to have that pent up explosive comedic ability and also, after seeing “Cyrus”, the dark edge that would be necessary for those not so sunny Belushi moments.
• Chris Farley. Whoops.
• Ricky Gervais. Other than being too old and British, he’s a fine choice.
• Leonardo DiCaprio. Come on, this guy is good in everything.

I was joking with the last two. Also, I kind of feel bad about the Chris Farley thing. I should delete it. No, what’s done is done.

It’s Official: Too Many People Bought “The Suburbs” & Now I Must Leave Arcade Fire Behind

Over indulgent covers?

Oh, just kidding. I’m not that big of a music snob.

But, it is definitely a big day for Arcade Fire, their label Merge, and big indie pop in general. Yes, the little indie band from Montreal now has the number one album in the land. It’s kind of the expected progression for the band as their debut album “Funeral” won over the critics, “Neon Bible” hit the charts and cemented the band as a lead act, and now, the hyped up “The Suburbs” gets to numero uno.

This has nothing to do with the fact that it is #1 on Billboard but, I’m not a 100% fan of the new album. It’s just too damn long. There are plenty of great tunes but it just feels like overkill. There are a few songs that even after several listens, I know I have skipped about midway through. I just…don’t like the tracks with Regine Chassagne on lead vocals. I know that she is adored by many but it seems to me that when Win Butler isn’t singing, the album pulls the emergency break on any and all momentum.

It’s still a damn good album and I think I like it more than “Neon Bible”. It jumps into my freshly minted List Of 2010 Albums That Are So Good You Should Listen To Them Because They Are So Good In 2010:

5. Arcade Fire, “The Suburbs”

4. Wolf Parade, “Expo 86″

3. Broken Social Scene, “Forgiveness Rock Record”

2. Local Natives, “Gorilla Manor”

1. The National, “High Violet”