Home > MLB, Sports > Sports Flash!! Why The Tampa Bay Devil Rays Deserve To Fail

Sports Flash!! Why The Tampa Bay Devil Rays Deserve To Fail

Cinematically Correct disclaimer: The following was written by a die-hard, obnoxious, cry when they win, curse when they lose Philadelphia Phillies fan.

F you Tampa. You read that right. F you Tampa. F you and your Mike Alstott-worshipping sports idiocy. Your weak Bucs didn’t deserve that Super Bowl and your even weaker Devil Rays sure as hell don’t deserve to play, much less win the World Series. Do you want to know why?

  • Up until about one week ago, this is what a regular Tampa Bay Devil Rays crowd looked like. In a season that saw your hometown team win 97 games, an average of 22,259 people attended their home games. The Devil Rays were at 52% capacity for the season and only had more attendees than the lowly Florida Marlins, Oakland A’s, Kansas City Royals, and Pittsburgh Pirates. Know what those teams have in common? They all freaking suck. Even Seattle and their 100 losses had better attendance than the American League Champs. Weak sauce Tampa.

  • Your stupid f-ing cowbells. You bang them when the game starts, when your team is batting, when your team is fielding, when you go to take a leak, when some jackass orders a beer, and, worst of all, you bang them right next to TV microphones all over the stadium thus screwing with my Dolby 5.1 and it sounds like I am surrounded by douchebags with cowbells in my own living room. Congratulations Tampa. You have out-annoyed the Thunder Stick. It must be such an honor to have pulled off such a feat.
  • This freaking guy. Come on…how can one fan base be so dumb? I realize that Philly has their share of stupidity but…we don’t do this junk. Go Phils.
  1. Adam
    October 21, 2008 at 7:40 PM

    I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell!

  2. jenchic
    October 22, 2008 at 2:51 PM

    Go Phils!!
    I think i’m going to stop on my way home from work & buy an oxygen tank to help ensure normal breathing patterns during the series. There’s definitely a chance that I will pass out at least once during a game.
    GO PHILS!!!

  1. October 22, 2008 at 4:17 PM

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