Home > Celebrity News, Pop Culture > Mercury Poisoning Side-Effects Do Not Affect Ability To Troll For Chicks

Mercury Poisoning Side-Effects Do Not Affect Ability To Troll For Chicks

Piven Is Too CoolEvery time there is a story here about Jeremy Piven, I will use this picture. If there is a better photo out there that sums up Piven’s douchability, I haven’t found it.

I read on WebMD that the best way to defeat mercury poisoning is to hook up with a hot cosmetology student. Luckily for Piven, that is exactly what he has done. Piven must have gotten tired of the 23-year old model/aspiring actress (aren’t they all?) and moved on to the cosmetologist. There is no word on the age of the new lady, but I’m sure she is between the ages of 19 and 26. That is pretty much The Piven Demographic.

Cinematically Correct note: To be honest, I didn’t know what cosmetology was…I had to Google it.

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  1. Dad, Dad, Daddio
    January 5, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    WebMD also states that an additional side effect is over-inflated ego with delutions of grandeur. That must be an old photo you’re using…Piven can’t possibly get that lid on his huge swollen cranium!!

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