Home > Television, TV Reviews, TV Shows > “24” Continues To Find Unique Ways For Jack Bauer To Mess People Up

“24” Continues To Find Unique Ways For Jack Bauer To Mess People Up

PhotobucketCheck it out…it’s a Jack Bauer action figure. You don’t see Jack kicking down many doors. Where is the “Jack Strangles An Islamic-Fascist Terrorist” toy? What about the “Jack Takes Down The Evil White Guy Behind It All” doll?

If you had the “Jack Bauer gasses an African President” square on your “24” Bingo card, you were the big winner last night. Last night, Jack and Whisperin’ Tony Almeida went deep undercover, busted into a panic room, and abducted backup center Dikembe Mutombo. As you can tell just by reading that sentence, it was a nutty episode.

If you are expecting some serious breakdown of this show, please keep reading…but then look somewhere else for serious “24” talk.

Did anybody know you could make a potentially lethal gas with ammonia and Clorox bleach? Since I kind of want to call bull**** on that, I decided to mix up a bowl. There’s the bleach…squirt in the ammonia…there we go, all done. Let’s see how this works.

We left off with Jack and Whisperin’ Tony with yet another Euro-looking baddie at the home of Sangala’s (fake African country) former President Mutumbo. Mutombo and his wife are locked in their panic room and Jack and Whisperin’ Tony need to kidnap him. Once they get Mutumbo to the Colonel Dubaku (he’s the guy that staged the military coup in Sangala), they will have access to the awesome power of the Death Star…actually, it’s that little X-Box add-on looking thing, the CIP Module.

Got it? I sure hope so because I am feeling a bit woozy.

The FBI Ginger, Renee Walker, is hot on the trail of Jack and Whisperin’ Tony. She knows there is a mole in her office and decides to Pull A Bauer and take matters into her own hands. She tells her boss, the uber-douchey Larry Moss, to stuff it. She was all like, “I’m totally going after Bauer and Almeida and you can like totally suck eggs Lar.” Then, Larry was all like, “Whoa.”

We also got to see that Billy from “Entourage” (the FBI Agent, Sean) is hooking up with an FBI Nookie Girl. At least he used the FBI to get his wife’s plane landed safely…what a sweetie. I don’t know who that blond FBI Nookie Girl is…but she is unbelievably annoying. She is such a beating that it makes me pine for the days of Kim Bauer…maybe.

Can somebody open a window? It’s really smoky and it’s bothering my contacts.

Then, Jeneane Garofalo made some annoying faces that were supposed to make her look concerned. Are they trying to replace the greatness of Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) with her? That would piss me right off. More Chloe, less Garofalo.

The President’s husband, Henry Taylor (Colm Feore), is totally f’ed huh? His Secret Service agent was in on the hit on his son, then dressed it up as suicide. Yowzers! If you didn’t know that was a fact when the two of them got to that apartment, well, you’re a “24” rookie.

Do you see those black spots? Are you seeing that?

Last but not least, Jack Bauer pretended to shoot The FBI Ginger in the face. Hardcore right? Renee The Ginger gets it and plays along. When Jack fired, she hits the ground like a rock and plays dead. Then, Jack kicks her in a ditch and covers her in plastic, Laura Palmer-style. The Euro-trash looking American bad guy tells Jack and Whisperin’ Tony to bury her body. Then, in an amazing first for “24”, Jack Bauer manages to bury somebody alive. Oddly enough, Kiefer Sutherland starred in a movie called “The Vanishing” in which his character was buried alive. Crazy right?

It was a solid episode of “24”, even though Jack didn’t kill anyone, which is always a downer. I like where this season is going. It’s not the normal Jack versus Terrorist deal. There are all kinds of plot points that tie together, from the President all the way to Jack Bauer. It’s been good so far.

I’m going to take a nap.

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  1. March 21, 2009 at 3:43 PM

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