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Cinematically Correct Reports That The Academy Awards Are A Boring Disaster

Even though Hugh Jackman gave it his all, the Academy Award show was a complete and total disaster. I’m talking epic fail here folks. It was boring through and through.

Here are the Cinematically Correct High Points:

  • Hugh Jackman’s opening number. Sure, the bit was telegraphed like the home run at the end of “The Natural”, but it worked. Even Jackman could barely stand the funny in the techno version of “The Reader” as he laughed his way through it.
  • Anne Hathaway sang great. In fact, when she held hands with Jackman, I immediately wanted to see them in a movie together. Those are some crazy good looking people folks.
  • Phillipe Petit’s statue balance and magic trick. Leave it to a crazy Frenchman to steal the thunder of every other winner last night.
  • Even though his appearance and voice were distracting, it was great to see Jerry Lewis get some credit from the acting community for his charity work. Sure, Lewis has said some pretty insensitive things recently but there is no doubting his dedication to Jerry’s Kids.
  • Not surprisingly, I loved the Judd Apatow/Seth Rogen/James Franco sketch.
  • The Action 2008 clip. Why? It featured clips from the best movie of 2008…”The Dark Knight”, which reminded me of how wonderful that movie really is. I almost turned the telecast off and popped in the BluRay.
  • My favorite moment from last night? The “Jimmy Kimmel Live” commercial featuring Kimmel and Tom Cruise. Hilarious!
  • Of course, it was great to see Heath Ledger’s family accept his Oscar for “The Dark Knight”. Their remarks were very classy and respectful of Ledger’s career. It was a great moment on an otherwise emotionless night.

Now, the ugly:

  • While I won’t go on and on about it, Sean Penn winning is not a complete travesty…but it’s definitely not good. I liked “Milk” and Penn was fine in it…but it was just an impersonation. There was no real emotional depth to his Harvey Milk, which was what I really disliked about the movie. Mickey Rourke is Randy “The Ram” Robinson and his heart and soul are on display in “The Wrestler”.
  • The song and dance numbers. I would like to find whoever invented the medley and beat them senseless. Well…maybe I won’t beat them up…I’ll make them watch every medley from the Oscars over the years. That’s worse than waterboarding.
  • Enough with the super surprisement of winning the Oscar already! Yes, I’m sure it is quite thrilling since it is the pinnacle achievement of your craft…but you knew you had a chance of winning going in since, you know, you were nominated. If “Gran Torino” won Best Picture, then it would have been a complete shock since it wasn’t nominated. Follow me?
  • The Action 2008 clip. Why? It featured clips from the best movie of 2008…”The Dark Knight”. It reminded me of how pissed off I am that it wasn’t nominated for Best Picture.
  • The introductions for all of the acting nominees was an disaster of Biblical proportions. Not only did it glorify the already massive lovefest of an award show by stroking the ego of each actor, it was boring, overlong, and awkward. Nobody knows who Melissa Leo, Richard Jenkins, or Michael Shannon are so how about we show a snippet of their work instead of awkwardly telling them how great they are?
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