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Unemployment 101: “The Price Is Right”

Don't forget to have Drew Carey spayed or neutered.

Don't forget to have Drew Carey spayed or neutered.

There are many things you can do while you are unemployed. Of course, job #1 should be looking for work. This can take two to four hours per day. What the hell else do you do all day? There are many options. Naturally, since you are unemployed, you want to find things that are inexpensive and/or completely free. One of these options is “The Price Is Right”, which is much-beloved by old folks and house fraus. Here are the reasons why this show is a great unemployment time waste.

  1. “Barker’s Beauties”: True, Bob Barker is not the host anymore…but what else do you call these chicks?
  2. The contestants: Yes, I’m sure it’s exciting to get on the show and potentially win a jet ski, which you still lose your s*** over even though you live in North Dakota. Lot’s of jet skiing there?
  3. “The Price Is Right”-themed clothing: Is there anything sadder than seeing some schmucky husband in his bedazzled tee that his Oprah-loving wife made him wear? It’s not like that awful shirt is going to get you on stage, it’s totally random for crying out loud.
  4. Drew Carey: Who doesn’t love Bob Barker? However…Drew Carey is pretty damn awesome. He’s funny, charming, and he doesn’t rip these goons that behave like lunatics next to him…even though I really believe he wants to do so.
  5. The games: Make no mistake, the games still rule and are a total blast. Tell me you don’t get all kinds of excited when that yodeling m’f’er shows up during “Cliff Hangers”? What about those big ass red dice in “Dice Game”? I would use those while I’m playing Monopoly if I could. Lastly…Plinko. Is there really anything better than a complete and total game of chance involving game chips, a game board, and the theory of gravity? I think Plinko should become a professional sport, complete with cheerleaders and arenas. That’s how awesome it is.
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