Jack Bauer: Making The Impossible Possible
“24” has been back and the Jack Bauer Kill Ratio is right on target. Two dead guys, two hours. We’re right at a 1:1 ratio so that means Jack is off to a great start.
It’s just the beginning of another terrible day for the most tortured human being in television history, Jack Bauer. If you’re a “24” fan, this all may seem like old hat for Jack. To be honest, I watch this show now with zero expectations. The plausibility of the events that occur on the show went wheels off five seasons or so ago. At this point, I just want to see Jack yell, run, and torture bad guys without blinking an eye. I want to see him waive his patriotism in the face of evil. The tension is still there, but never for Jack, only the secondary characters.
So what do I think after two short hours?
- Jack killed a guy with a f***ing axe. He has wasted baddies in several different ways but this was a first. I wonder if there are two or three writers that just think of unique ways for Jack to torture/kill guys?
- Last season, “24” created an African country, probably in an effort to not offend anyone. High five to the writers for not messing around this season and creating a fictional sane President of Iran. Well, he’s sane so far that is. Is it as hard for you as it is for me to not hear “let’s play Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!” when President Hassan talks? Also, how impressive is Anil Kapoor’s hair? It should get its own credit as “President Hassan’s Badass Hair“.
- The Whisperin’ Tony Almeda watch has already begun. Remember, “24” wised up last season and didn’t kill Tony off after he turned to the dark side. What’s the over-under on his return, ten episodes? Fifteen?
- It feels perverse to type this but I wasn’t annoyed by Elisha Cuthbert’s Kim Bauer. This is a marked turnaround for me, as I once cheered for mountain cats to eat Kim. Cuthbert and Kiefer Sutherland have a pretty damn good chemistry and if you told me he was really her dad, I’d buy it.
- It feels perverse to type this but…I was fairly annoyed by Mary Lynn Rajskub’s Chloe. Chloe is a brutally truthful character, which made fans love her in the first place. Unfortunately, I’m a bit tired of it. She seems to mouth off to people even when they are being nice to her, which not even the saltiest of people do consistently.
- The good news is that my favorite moment (other than the axe) of last night came when Chloe emotionally asked Jack for help. It was a great moment for two characters that are so closely tied together, but oddly enough, don’t get much actual screen time together.
- Do we need another CTU romance? This time, it’s Freddie Prinze Jr.’s Cole Ortiz and Katee Sackhoff’s Dana Walsh. It looks like Ortiz has some Jack Bauer hero worship going on and Walsh has a few skeletons in her closet. Maybe her big secret is that she is actually a robot since she walks, talks, and behaves like one. Is there any doubt this relationship ends badly?
- So a Russian hit man is the bad guy? Whatever. The cool thing is that this Russian killing machine Davros is played by Doug Hutchison, who is also Horace on “Lost”. He was pretty believable and all…but what’s wrong with that dude’s face? He just looks so damn weird.
That’s about all I’ve got for now. I’ll have some more thoughts after tonight’s show as well.