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Friday Quick Hits!! “Lost” In Real Time, See Who Plays Conan, & Sean Salisbury’s Dong

It’s Friday everyone! To celebrate, I decided to not hit the kid that ran in front of my car this morning! Yay for big city school bus stops and responsible parenting!

  • Look, I’m already working around the clock to tell you that “Extraordinary Measures”, “The Tooth Fairy”, and “Legion” all completely suck.
  • Just like when asked if you are a god, when Steven Spielberg calls and wants to put a mini-series on your cable station, you say yes. It looks like TNT didn’t go the route of Venkman and is going to air Spielberg’s alien invasion series, even though it will star Noah Wylie. If you didn’t know it, Wylie is The Librarian…which, like Alan, is literally too stupid to insult. The series will also star Moon Bloodgood as a child therapist. If I had to go see a therapist like her when I was twelve, there is no way my pants could have handled it. Actually, I couldn’t handle it now.
  • It looks like the rumors were true: Sean Salisbury took a cell phone picture of his wanger and sent it to an ESPN female colleague. His wheels have been flying off ever since and…oh, who cares? This would be relevant if Salisbury wasn’t a loudmouth, blowhard moron. Throw pervert in there too.
  • Hollywood sure works fast! They have already cast an actor to play Conan! His name is Jason Momoa and…wait a sec…he doesn’t look anything like Coco!
  • In real Conan O’Brien news, it looks like there haven’t been any official deals offered to him as of yet. After reading that story, my hopey hope changey change dream is that Conan goes to FX. It’s a perfect combo of Conan’s edge and FX’s willingness to let their programs do pretty much whatever they want.
  • …speaking of Conan and edge…this is probably the last time we’ll ever see The Masturbating Bear. F-YOU INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY AND F-YOU NBC.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

  • I watched this cool “Lost” video on Jopionated‘s Facebook page first. It’s the Oceanic 815 crash in real-time. If you are a “Lost” geek like me, you’ll love it. It’s not as funny as a guy masturbating in a bear suit, but hey, what is?
  • Finally, here’s the trailer for “Cyrus”. It appears to be a bit of a dark comedy with John C. Reilly, Marissa Tomei, Katherine Keener, and Jonah Hill…as Tomei’s grown son.

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