It’s A Good Thing That The 3D Glasses Aren’t Comfy, They Kept Me Awake During “Avatar”
There’s really no need for me to waste any time here: Now that I’ve seen “Avatar”, I found it to be so bad that I’m upset that I saw it at all.
The fact that “Avatar” is even in the same group as movies like “A Serious Man”, “Up In The Air”, “Inglourious Basterds”, “District 9”, hell, even “The Blind Side” is beyond me. Come Sunday, if this movie beats out “The Hurt Locker”, James Cameron will have pull the wool over the eyes of Academy voters twice. Both times he has used the beautiful green color of money to distract them from the fact that, while technologically amazing, just aren’t that great.
“Avatar” is about a group of people called Na’vi on a planet called Pandora. This planet is laden with a precious ore called Unobtainium and the evil human race is there to take it from the Na’vi.
All of the stereotypical bad guys are present. You know…big business and the military. The bad guys send the parapalegic Jake Sully (annointed megastar Sam Worthington) into the Avatar program, which is able to put humans into the a Na’vi body. They want Jake to infiltrate the Na’vi and learn their secrets in order to force them out of their home, which is a huge tree on top of a big Unobtainium deposit.
It doesn’t take a genius to know where this is going. Jake meets Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) and, after three months in their society, they fall in love and he turns on the evil humans and helps the Na’vi fight back. That’s the story. That’s it. I don’t care how much amazing effects you show me, I’m going to need more than that or at least you better tell it better than “Avatar” does.
So, the effects. Yes, it is amazing. The colors pop off the screen and I would think not seeing in it 3D would take away from the movie. There were several moments that definitely blew my mind, which is surprising since this stuff usually doesn’t sell a movie for me.
Once I got over the effects, I was terribly bored. The middle 100 minutes are painfully slow. Besides, you know that all of it is just leading up to an epic battle in the end, which wasn’t really that epic. It all felt so anti-climactic.
If not for the groundbreaking visuals, I would have really torched this movie. I also kept it short because you are probably tired of reading about “Avatar” already. Obviously, thousands of people disagree with me, but this type of thing just isn’t my cup of tea.