One Day, They’ll Write Tales Of The Great Cinematically Correct DVD Purge Of 2010
There are certain places for people that induce their best thinking. Some people do it in their cubicle, some do it in their office. Me? I do my best work in the shower. Let me rephrase: I do my best thinking in the shower. Unfortunately, I have a tendency to forget everything I had thought about by the time I’m towel drying my hair. Seriously, I’m sure that I had thought of how “Lost” is going to actually end while in the shower but completely forgotten it moments later. You know this shower note pad? I need it.
However, I was lucky enough to remember my latest in a long line of brilliant forgotten ideas. I guess it’s not really forgotten since I am now writing about it. Anyway, I’ve decided to cut bait on several of my DVDs. There are several deciding factors that have brought me to want to box up many movies and take them to our local used DVD store, which is called Entertainmart. I’m not joking when I tell you that they once had the following message on their marquee: Our Prices Are Crunk. I don’t even know what that means but it terrifies me down to my very core.
Insanely enough, they actually pay top dollar for used DVDs. I’m talking anywhere from five to ten dollars per movie. That, my friends, is insanity. I wonder what they’ll pay for the extended editions of the “Lord Of The Rings” movies? Yes people of the Shire, I’m going to sell them. Why? I don’t have 18 hours to blow watching them. I think I’ll just snag the new regular versions of them that was just released on Bluray instead.
See, it’s decisions like that one that have brought me to this difficult decision. So, “The Wedding Singer”? Sorry, you’re gone. I even question why I owned you in the first place. “Goodfellas” on DVD? You’ve been replaced by Bluray homie. So here are some of the criteria I’m going to use when deciding what DVDs to rid our home of:
- The Bluray Player
Last weekend, I picked up “28 Days Later” on Bluray. Believe it or not, this was the first time I had watched a flick for Bluray that I had only seen previous on DVD. Even though that movie probably isn’t the best example to use, it was still on a different planet than the DVD version. So, there will be certain DVDs that I will sell tomorrow, then replace with Bluray versions. First on that list? “Kingdom Of Heaven”, which I worship. Actually, all Ridley Scott DVDs will be immediately upgraded to Bluray Kickassery.
- Movies I Will Never Watch Again. Ever.
Yes, I have all the Kevin Smith movies. No, I will never watch “Jersey Girl” again. I only have it to complete some insane belief that I needed to own all his movies. This occurred when I had a serious DVD buying problem. I went to rehab, friends intervened, it wasn’t pretty.
What do I mean by focus? My collection is very scattered. At this point in my life, I’ve latched onto certain directors and actors. For example, Ridley Scott and Michael Mann can do no wrong in my eyes. Well…except for “Public Enemies”. Bummer. Anyway, I need to rid my collection of nonsense and focus on collecting the brilliant works of directors like them. First on that list is to complete my Michael Mann collection, but only with Bluray versions of his flicks.
- Quality, Not Quantity
In the end, I’m shooting for quality. I want people to look at my Bluray collection and say things like, “Oh, you have ‘Dr. Strangelove’ and ‘Role Models’? How eclectic.” You know, snobby bulls*** like that.
If anyone has suggestions on other ways I can whittle this car crash collection down, by all means, email me or comment. I most likely will completely ignore your thoughts, but it’s fun to interact with other people while not actually speaking to them.