Being A Movie Snob Is Hard Work
Louis: I don’t have that record… I’ll buy it for forty.
Louis: Now why would you sell it to me and not to him?
Barry: Because you’re not a geek, Louis.
Louis: You guys are snobs.
Dick: No, we’re not.
Louis: Yeah, seriously, you’re totally elitist. You feel like the unappreciated scholars, so you shit onto people who know lesser than you.
Rob, Barry, Dick: No!
Louis: Which is everybody…
Rob, Barry, Dick: Yeah…
Louis: That’s so sad.
Before I completely talk a mess of junk on a co-worker, let me first explain a few facts, which were detailed on my Twitter earlier today:
- He tucks short sleeved button up shirts into jeans.
- He signs off on inter-office emails by spelling his name like this: dAn or nAMe. (Dan is not his name)
- He claims screen writing as one of his hobbies.
- He says that he is a big indie film fan, but yet had not heard of the fairly heavily publicized “The Kids Are Alright”.
- He said that Julianne Moore was in “that one show about Roller Girl“.
- He thinks that “Inception” was “stupid” and “boring”, which are coincidentally the words I use to describe him.
- He once asked me to play Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon with him. On the day that I met him.
Quite naturally, I can barely speak to this person. Yes, I’m a snobby evil bastard for this, but I sincerely subscribe to the Rob Gordon-“it’s what you like” theory of compatibility. So today, in an effort to be a nice guy, I completely bit my tongue as I overheard him and some other co-workers engage in movie talk.
It all started when one person asked aloud what movie they should go see tonight. His response was “anything but ‘Inception'”. My blood skipped the begin to boil stage and went right to full on overheat. Since I choose to avoid any and all personal interaction with him, I kept my mouth shut.
It gets worse. He was then asked why he thought “Inception” was bad. “Because the ending leaves you hanging“. Yes. He said that. This caused my brain to physically explode out of my left ear, travel around the room, stop to punch him in his face, then return to me and re-enter my right ear. So not only does dAn (again, not his name) need a movie to spell everything out for him like a child, he essentially ruined the ending of the movie for everyone within earshot.
Call me a cold hearted prick, but I just can’t talk to someone that has bad taste and is so incredibly stupid. I’m sure they had more things to say that would been the verbal equivalent of listening to Nickelback, but I decided to do some actual work…oh, and write this post.
Cinematically Correct note: Sorry if I seem bitter. It’s because…well…I am. Hey, at least I avoided the crazed gay road rage afflicted today.