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Cinematically Correct Presents: The Cinematically Correct New York Trip To New York

The posting on Cinematically Correct has been unbelievably slim. Like, 10 days since a new post. Ugh. Yes, I’m writing for another site (Movies Online, check it out when you finish this piece of brilliance) and that takes more of my time in which I am at work and not working. Does that make any sense? What I’m saying is that I only have time to write a few posts a day as I blow off my real job.

However, my main reason for having zero content here since early last week was a long weekend visiting the greatest city in the world, New York, NY. Mrs. Cinematically Correct and I went there after being invited by another couple that also has disposable income to piss away on food, clothes, booze, and psychotropic drugs. Just kidding…about the clothes.

Here’s a recap of the restaurants I visited:

Bryant Park Grill – When you get to the city at 1:30 or so after a flight that left at 5:45 AM, you have a tendency to be hungry and willing to go to the first place that may have food. Other than street vendors, this was the first place we came across. For four people, the bill came out to almost $150. For lunch. Considering that none of us had anything too exquisite, it was way too much for what we got. Turns out, that street hot dog may have been the better choice. Come to think of it…when isn’t it a better choice? Those freaking things are delicious.

Also, be careful while hanging out in this park. There are crazed pigeons just waiting to swarm.

Ippudo NY – There were no reservations here and we waited for two hours in a very cramped bar. Luckily, booze was flowing, specifically an entire bottle of sake. If you are into Japanese at all, this really is a must. It’s quite possibly the best Japanese I’ve ever eaten. If you don’t get the Hirata Buns, you’re stupid. Also, the soy ramen. Also, the Philly cheesesteak rolls. Also, the Maguro Tataki. You pretty much should order everything.

Oddly enough, our waitress was from Plano, which is part of the Dallas-Ft. Worth metroplex, which is my home. So if you see Rose from Plano, tell her that the Cinematically Correct said hi.

Bello – Naturally, we had to get some Italian. This place is definitely as authentic as it gets. How do I know? Our 100% Italian waiter included body disposal as part of the nightly specials. I’m Italian, which makes it okay for this ethnically insensitive line of humor.

Sadly, it seemed like they were much more interested in speaking with their hands then really great Italian. Between the four of us, only the veal Saltimbocca was passing as the chicken Parmesan was quite lame. One would think that any Italian place in Hell’s Kitchen would rock your face off but alas, it broke my heart. It broke my heart.

No penises were harmed in this diner.

Evergreen Coffee Shop & Diner – We only ate breakfast there and what can I say, it is a classic New York diner. We ate there twice and I had corned beef hash, which I think is some sort of requirement while visiting New York. I can recommend that you stay away from the sausage links. They were just nasty.

The best thing about the place is all the autographed photos, like the one you see here. Yes, that is Brett Favre during his fifteen minutes with the New York Jets. Apparently, he found time to eat at this diner, try to get on several Jets masseuse ladies, and send pictures of his junk to Jenn Sterger. Awesome.

Broadway Pizza – Getting some kickass pizza is another NYC requirement. There are so many recommended Zagat pizza places that you can just throw a dart and pick one. Instead, due to hunger and tiring from walking, we stumbled into this one. It was average at best. But hey, you gotta have New York pizza right? Sadly, no pictures of Favre or his junk here.

5 Napkin Burger – There’s a burger joint in Dallas called Twisted Root. It’s very good. 5 Napkin Burger makes Twisted Root its bitch. It’s the juiciest tastiest most meatiest burgeriest burger I’ve ever jammed into the hole in my face. Seriously. I can’t recommend getting here and throwing down one of these bad boys.

The Nancy Spungen Trail Of Tears

 

Of course, I found time to swing by the famous Hotel Chelsea. This place has been home to so many cool artists, not to mention the site of the infamous death of Sid Vicious girlfriend Nancy Spungen. Arthur C. Clarke wrote “2001: A Space Odyssey” there. Bob Dylan was in residence. William Burroughs. Arthur Miller. Dylan Thomas. Ryan Adams. Ahem.

They won’t let you inside. Sure, you can chill out in the lobby, but that is it. I tried to make a break for it when the front desk person was occupied, but alas, I failed. I’m sure I was the 20th person that day to try it. I mean, who doesn’t want to run around those halls a little bit?

The real treasure about the Hotel Chelsea is the teeny tiny store right beside it: Chelsea Guitars. As a music snob, it really can’t get any cooler than this place. You may not be able to get into the Hotel Chelsea, but you can lose yourself in the overall cool vibe of this place. It’s really just incredible. Need proof? Check out this pictures from their site.

 

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