Archive for the ‘Lists!’ Category

You Need To Read Yet Another Best Songs Of 2010 List

December 21, 2010 2 comments

Keep On...With The Force Don't Stop...Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

The end of the year is such a great time to be a blogger. I’ve already shoved my favorite albums list down your throat, so why not tell you all about my favorite songs too? In fact, if you are my tenth caller, you’ll win the fine jukebox seen here, complete with every song on my list in it. On 45 bro. You really can’t not be wanting to miss out on this rare opportunity to not win a contest that is in no way fake or illegitimate or conjured up in an effort to be funny even though it’s definitely not funny but it might be so humor me…

Here’s the list:

25. “Crash Years”, The New Pornographers

24. “Mall & Misery”, Broken Bells

23. “Black Eyes”, Shearwater

22. “In The Sun”, She & Him

21. “White Sky”, Vampire Weekend

20. “Burden of Tomorrow”, The Tallest Man on Earth

19. “Impossible Soul”, Sufjan Stevens

18. “Written In Reverse”, Spoon

17. “Terrible Love”, The National

16. “Nothing Like You”, Frightened Rabbit

15. “We Fell”, S. Carey

14. “Wide Eyes”, Local Natives

13. “Ready To Start”, Arcade Fire

12. “Blue Bear”, Band Of Horses

11. “World Sick”, Broken Social Scene

10. “Stylo”, Gorillaz

9. “I Can Change”, LCD Soundsystem

8. “Yulia”, Wolf Parade

7. “Who Knows, Who Cares”, Local Natives

6. “Promises”, The Morning Benders

5. “Desire Lines”, Deerhunter

4. “King of Spain”, The Tallest Man on Earth

3. “The Loneliness”, Frightened Rabbit

2. “Dance Yrself Clean”, LCD Soundsystem

1. “Bloodbuzz Ohio”, The National




Holy F’ing Cow! It’s Time For A List Of Albums That I Love So Much That I’m Putting Them On A List Of Albums That I Like

It’s July 2nd and NPR has already put together a best of 2010 list. What a ridiculous practice. Who the hell is interested in looking at a best of the year list when we’re only halfway through the year? Stupid timewaste if you ask me.

Here’s my list of The Best Albums of 2010 So Far:

12. Vampire Weekend, “Contra”

11. The Dead Weather, “Sea Of Cowards”

10. Broken Bells, “Broken Bells”

9. Spoon, “Transference”

8. She & Him, “Volume Two”

7. MGMT, “Congratulations”

6. Frightened Rabbit, “The Winter Of Mixed Drinks”

5. LCD Soundsystem, “This Is Happening”

4. Wolf Parade, “Expo 86”

3. Broken Social Scene, “Forgiveness Rock Record”

2. Local Natives, “Gorilla Manor”

1. The National, “High Violet”

At this point, it would take the second coming of “Sgt. Pepper” to knock The National off the top stop.

There have been a few disappointments and underwhelming efforts for me. “Infinite Arms” by Band Of Horses is a huge disappointment for me. I adore reverb soaked vocals and guitar as much as ever alt-country junkie out there and this group was championing that cause. This record is just, well, boring. I don’t know. Maybe I expect too much from these bands?

When Orlando Bloom News Happens, Rest Assured, You’ll Find Me Commenting On His Hair Here

Get in more movies dude.

Here is the current Cinematically Correct Man Crush Top Five:

5. Chase Utley: Will always be permanent fixture here.

4. Orlando Bloom: His hair keeps him on the list.

3. Mike Richards: His shorthanded goal last night alone puts him on the list with a bullet.

2. Robert Downey Jr.: Keep in mind, he pisses excellence.

1. Ryan Adams: It would take quite a bit to remove him from the top spot.

Sure, there are some news items to report about a few of the guys on my list here, most notably, Ryan’s upcoming release of his first metal album titled “Orion”. I could go on and on about that, no doubt boring several of you. Instead, let’s go a different route and bore you with Orlando Bloom talk instead.

Bloom has signed onto the latest rehashing of “Three Musketeers”. Which one is he playing you ask? Well slow your roll pal, Orlando Bloom is going to play the main villain in the flick. Let me just guarantee you this right now: He will knock this role out of the mutherf’ing park. The character is described as “so cool that you can chop him into cubes and serve with vodka”. To me, that sounds like a smooth-talking, slick, disgustingly obnoxious evil guy and I think this is the perfect part for him. He was just weaselly enough in “Troy”, but here, I’m betting he goes all out on the scumbagginess.

But for now, let’s just admire his hair.

Quick Hit Movie Friday! Joe Simpson Is Evil, A New Emo-Free Spidey, & Channing Tatum Plays A Soldier…Again

These are the new movie release dark days folks. The chances of actually seeing a half-decent new movie have gone by the wayside for a month or two. Case in point: “Dear John” and “From Paris With Love”. Is it possible for two movies to be released on the same day that are so awful for completely opposite reasons? “Dear John” looks like an even weaker version of “The Notebook” while “From Paris With Love” looks like…like…well…like dogs***. So if you are a sappy chick that likes crappy romance or a meathead guy that digs crap action flicks, it’s all out there for you today.

Of course, this meathead wants to see Mel Gibson get revenge all over yo’ face in “Edge Of Darkness”.

  • Who has seen “The Red Riding Trilogy”? After reading this article, it sounds damn awesome. Creepy, but awesome. They are apparently an adaptation of the even better book series…has anyone heard of these mysterious “book” things I keep hearing about?
  • Is this Percy Jackson kid going to be the next Peter Parker/Spider Man? The word is that he is talking with Sony about the possibility. Sadly, that third flick really soured me on the entire idea of a Spider Man movie. Besides, hasn’t Batman and Iron Man cornered the super hero market these days?
  • The genius that is Tim Curry has joined the already impressive cast of “Burke and Hare”, a dark comedy set in the 1800s about Scottish corpse thieves. Simon Pegg and Andy Serkis are already playing the two leads, which means that I’ll be beating down the door to see it. Does anybody else think that Tim Curry was badass in “Legend”? No? Well…me either then.
  • Is Joe Simpson as bad as say…Lindsay Lohan’s dad? Hardly. Is he pure evil that needs to be stopped? Most definitely. Joe now has a deal with Nickelodeon to produce a show about a pyschiatrist raising two daughters in Texas…how original! Where did he get this idea?
  • Finally… picks their ten favorite Bill Murray roles since 1990. Why just since 1990? That leaves out “Ghostbusters” and “Stripes”. Since Bill Murray is one of my several Leaders and Life Coaches, here is my top ten. Have a bitchin’ weekend.

10.  Grimm, “Quick Change”

9. Ernie McCracken, “Kingpin”

8. John, “Stripes”

7. Jeff Slater, “Tootsie”

6. Steve Zissou, “The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou”

5. Phil, “Groundhog Day”

4. Carl Spackler, “Caddyshack”

3. Peter Venkman, “Ghostbusters”

2. Herman Blume, “Rushmore”

1. Bob Harris, “Lost In Translation”

Cinematically Correct Reports: Sorriest Band Names Ever

After listening to the latest Vampire Weekend album, it struck me how cool I found their band name to be. Then, I thought about some really bad band names. There are so many that one could literally spend days and days compiling a list of them. Since I have zero ambition to do something as well thought out and journalistic as that, please enjoy my hackneyed, thrown together, and in no order of any kind list of Weak Band Names.

Oh, please keep in mind, I have never listened to any of these bands either. Not me.

  • Limp Bizkit. It’s rare for such a convergence of all-around s***iness. How can one band have such a sausage name, followed up with horrendous music, and a front man that sets records for being a douchebag? Amazing…they are like the Triple Crown Of Crap.
  • Coldplay. Take everything I said about Limp Bizkit, back it up just a hair, and you have Coldplay. What the hell does that name mean? I guarantee you that the reason behind it is so pretentious that it would make Oprah Winfrey throw up.
  • Hootie & The Blowfish. I actually know why they are called this. It’s because…oh, who gives a rat’s ass. All you need to know is that the two people it’s named after aren’t even in the f’ing band.
  • W.A.S.P. I have a better name. How about G.A.Y.? No wait, here it is: G.O.F.Y.O.U.R.S.E.L.F.
  • Phish. Dude…they totally spelled the word wrong. I mean, it’s like, spelled fish right? But these guys…see…these guys spell it P-H. That is so, I mean, it’s so totally rad.
  • Los Lonely Boys. You know what, pick a language and stick with it. Jagoffs.
  • Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. Never heard of them? Lucky you.
  • Staind. I guess adding that extra “e” would really have tipped them over the edge. It’s just inexcusable.
  • Rage Against The Machine. We go into a record studio to record songs that we put on an album that we hope you pick up off the shelf in a mall and then buy it! Down with the establishment!! Dorks.
  • Death Cab For Cutie. See? Here’s a band that I psuedo-like. I can be critical of them too…that’s all I have.
  • UB40. Remember their cover of “Red Wine”? It’s the audio equivalent to those bugs that Khan put in people’s ears in “Star Trek II”.
  • The Allen Parsons Project. It’s kind of sad that the only reason (and I mean only reason) we all remember this band is because of their wretched name.
  • …and finally…John The Raptist. Not kidding. He’s a British rapper.

Yes, there are hundreds upon hundreds more. Who are some of your favorite crap names? Remember, you don’t have to dislike the band. For instance, I like Faith No More, but that name is weak sauce.

Start 2010 Off With A Bang…Or Look At My Favorite 100 Movies Of All Time

It’s been a long time in the making, but I have finally finished the list of my Favorite Movies of All Time. This isn’t necessarily the best movies ever, it’s more of the movies that I enjoy the most and have watched repeatedly. What inspired me to do this? Conformity. I wasn’t feeling my best movies of 2009 list yet, so I decided to polish this one up and finally get it finished.

100. “Bullets Over Broadway”

99. “Toy Story”

98. “Chasing Amy”

97. “Trading Places”

96. “Dirty Harry”

95. “28 Days Later”

94. “JFK”

93. “Brazil”

92. “The Graduate”

91. “Fight Club”

90. “Sideways”

89. “Comedian”

88. “Grosse Point Blank”

87. “Road To Perdition”

86. “Team America”

85. “Wonder Boys”

84. “We Are Marshall”

83. “The Sixth Sense”

82. “(500) Days Of Summer”

81. “Reign Over Me”

80. “Dog Day Afternoon”

79. “Annie Hall”

78. “Fear & Loathing In Las Vegas”

77. “Star Wars”

76. “Close Encounters Of The Third Kind”

75. “Glengarry Glen Ross”

74. “Children Of Men”

73. “The Hangover”

72. “Magnolia”

71. “Napoleon Dynamite”

70. “O Brother Where Art Thou”

69. “Superbad”

68. “When Harry Met Sally”

67. “Roger Dodger”

66. “Zoolander”

65. “The Sting”

64. “Ghostbusters”

63. “12 Monkeys”

62. “Role Models”

61. “Bull Durham”

60. “Traffic”

59. “Anchorman”

58. “Bottle Rocket”

57. “Dr. Strangelove”

56. “Inglourious Basterds”

55. “Raiders Of The Lost Ark”

54. “Rocky”

53. “Glory”

52. “Groundhog Day”

51. “The 40-Year Old Virgin”

50. “Once”

49. “Seven”

48. “Unbreakable”

47. “Wedding Crashers”

46. “Million Dollar Baby”

45. “Jerry Maguire”

44. “Little Miss Sunshine”

43. “Swingers”

42. “Aliens”

41. “Singles”

40. “Old School”

39. “Taxi Driver”

38. “Fargo”

37. “The Shawshank Redemption”

36. “Caddyshack”

35. “Unforgiven”

34. “Monty Python & The Holy Grail”

33. “Kingdom Of Heaven – The Director’s Cut”

32. “Knocked Up”

31. “No Country For Old Men”

30. “Punch Drunk Love”

29. “Jaws”

28. “Memento”

27. “L.A. Confidential”

26. “Saving Private Ryan”

25. “Pulp Fiction”

24. “The Empire Strikes Back”

23. “The Godfather”

22. “The Usual Suspects”

21. “United 93”

20. “Lost In Translation”

19. “Blade Runner”

18. “The Dark Knight”

17. “Rushmore”

16. “There Will Be Blood”

15. “Collateral”

14. “The Royal Tenenbaums”

13. “The Big Lebowski”

12. “High Fidelity”

11. “The Godfather, Part Two”

10. “Say Anything”

9. “Zodiac”

8. “Heat”

7. “Goodfellas”

6. “Black Hawk Down”

5. “Apocalypse Now”

4. “Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid”

3. “Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind”

2. “Alien”

1. “Almost Famous”

No Easy Way To Say It: Bret & Jemaine Call It Quits

December 11, 2009 1 comment

The officially official announcement is out and, while a good decision, it’s quite sad. Bret and Jemaine are shutting down Flight Of The Conchords. Here are the top five things I’ll miss from the show…

5. Mel’s psychotic fandom.
4. Dave and his wisdom.
3. Musical interludes.
2. “Who likes to rock the party?”
1. Band meetings.