It’s going to start early this year. I’m already in full-on Phillies giddiness. For example, today’s work clothes consist of a brand new Phillies hoodie, a Cliff Lee thong, and nothing else. Oh yeah. Vans. I’m wearing some Vans.
So I apologize in advance. But I’m really not sorry. That’s just me being nice. I want the Phillies to go 162-0 while decimating every single Major League Baseball team along the way. Including the team that you like, whichever it may be. In fact, I hope they beat the team that you like ever worse than the other teams that you don’t like. If it’s the Mets, I hope they double beat them.
A quick search through the substantial archives of Cinematically Correct will reveal that I am a Phillies fan. I’ve written extensively about my sick worship of all things Philadelphia. To me, Rocky Balboa is pretty much a real guy. The “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme music is on my iPod. Even though it’s steeped in disco 70s pop cheese, my favorite Elton John song is “Philadelphia Freedom”.
Last night, Cliff Lee rejected the Yankees and Rangers and chose to sign with the Philadelphia Phillies. Yankees fans are calling him crazy for turning down the money. Ranger fans are treating him like some sort of LeBron James jackass. Some say he couldn’t handle the pressure of New York. Some say he couldn’t handle being the clear ace of the Ranger pitching staff.
This is all horseshit. Think there isn’t pressure in Philly? We boo everyone, just ask Darren Daulton’s son, who was booed in a father-son softball game because Daulton couldn’t hit his weight. I don’t care if you are on a pitching staff with Cy Young, Don Drysdale, Nolan Ryan, and Roy Halladay, there is pressure in Philly.
Also, what about the added pressure of being in a rotation consisting of Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels? If you don’t think those guys are going to be pitching to outdo each other, you’re crazy. Just ask Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, and John Smoltz about how competitive they were. I mean, those guys wanted to outhit each other for God’s Sake.
LeBron? Please. Cliff Lee didn’t orchestrate this move. Cliff Lee isn’t turning his back on anyone. He chose the Phillies over everyone else because he loved playing for them. It’s no secret how floored he was when the Phillies mistakenly traded him almost one year ago to the day. It’s almost as if the Phillies and Cliff Lee knew that it was a mistake and this was to make up for the error.
Look, it’s not like Cliff Lee is getting minimum wage here. He’s getting paid a boatload of money that will take care of his family for at least two generations. However, in an age when most pro athletes simply take the biggest paycheck available (coughJaysonWerthcough), Lee took less money to play where he was comfortable. It’s where he wanted to be.
So in conclusion, suck it Yankees.
Cinematically Correct note: The picture here was made by Phylan of Twitter. Sacrilegious? Yes. Hilariously brilliant? Totally.