Louis: I don’t have that record… I’ll buy it for forty.
Louis: Now why would you sell it to me and not to him?
Barry: Because you’re not a geek, Louis.
Louis: You guys are snobs.
Dick: No, we’re not.
Louis: Yeah, seriously, you’re totally elitist. You feel like the unappreciated scholars, so you shit onto people who know lesser than you.
Rob, Barry, Dick: No!
Louis: Which is everybody…
Rob, Barry, Dick: Yeah…
Louis: That’s so sad.
Before I completely talk a mess of junk on a co-worker, let me first explain a few facts, which were detailed on my Twitter earlier today:
- He tucks short sleeved button up shirts into jeans.
- He signs off on inter-office emails by spelling his name like this: dAn or nAMe. (Dan is not his name)
- He claims screen writing as one of his hobbies.
- He says that he is a big indie film fan, but yet had not heard of the fairly heavily publicized “The Kids Are Alright”.
- He said that Julianne Moore was in “that one show about Roller Girl“.
- He thinks that “Inception” was “stupid” and “boring”, which are coincidentally the words I use to describe him.
- He once asked me to play Six Degrees Of Kevin Bacon with him. On the day that I met him.
Quite naturally, I can barely speak to this person. Yes, I’m a snobby evil bastard for this, but I sincerely subscribe to the Rob Gordon-“it’s what you like” theory of compatibility. So today, in an effort to be a nice guy, I completely bit my tongue as I overheard him and some other co-workers engage in movie talk.
It all started when one person asked aloud what movie they should go see tonight. His response was “anything but ‘Inception'”. My blood skipped the begin to boil stage and went right to full on overheat. Since I choose to avoid any and all personal interaction with him, I kept my mouth shut.
It gets worse. He was then asked why he thought “Inception” was bad. “Because the ending leaves you hanging“. Yes. He said that. This caused my brain to physically explode out of my left ear, travel around the room, stop to punch him in his face, then return to me and re-enter my right ear. So not only does dAn (again, not his name) need a movie to spell everything out for him like a child, he essentially ruined the ending of the movie for everyone within earshot.
Call me a cold hearted prick, but I just can’t talk to someone that has bad taste and is so incredibly stupid. I’m sure they had more things to say that would been the verbal equivalent of listening to Nickelback, but I decided to do some actual work…oh, and write this post.
Cinematically Correct note: Sorry if I seem bitter. It’s because…well…I am. Hey, at least I avoided the crazed gay road rage afflicted today.
As I watched the “Inception” credits roll by, my first thought was that Christopher Nolan is a certified filmmaking genius. In a time where people are wowed by cartoon movies (yeah, I’m looking at you “Avatar”), Nolan has created a movie that is so meticulously crafted and sculpted, with such a dense, layered script, that’s it hard to even believe that Warner Brothers put up the cash for this unbelievably daring movie. There have been large scale films that have crashed and burned because they are bad movies. I have a feeling this movie could crash and burn (a little bit) because it is far too good.
By now, you’ve probably read a bit about this movie so you have some idea that it focuses on dreams. You’ve probably also read that it’s very difficult to talk about this movie without spilling the beans on the twists and turns that occur. Just know this: do not believe all the talk about “Inception” being too confusing or hard to follow. It’s simply not true. Yes, you have to pay attention to every single word that is said, as every single word is used to advance the story. There is not one throwaway line, no filler. It’s meaty. It’s wordy.
Again, I don’t want to scare the casual movie goer away. Sure, if you aren’t interested in a complex story with several (and I mean several) layers in it, you may find yourself a bit bored. See, the first 45 minutes or so are really dedicated to learning about how Cobb (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his crew essentially break into people’s dreams in an effort to steal secrets. This is done while explaining to his new hire, Ariadne (Ellen Page, actually not annoying), as they walk around in a dream. It’s one of the more visually amazing sequences you will see…until about an hour later.
Cobb is hired by Saito (Ken Watanabe) to break into Robert Fischer’s mind (Cillian Murphy) and…well, I don’t want to say. Let’s just say that it’s an elaborate heist that lasts the last 45-60 minutes of the movie. It also involves dreaming within a dream…within a dream. Like I said, there are many layers to this onion.
During the heist, you are treated to some fantastic acting from DiCaprio, witty dialogue (mostly from Tom Hardy, who steals virtually every scene he’s in), and of course, the pinnacle achievement of “Inception”. That would be the hotel sequence which mostly features Arthur (the as cool as a cucumber Joseph Gordon-Levitt) in a spinning hallway, experiencing shifts in gravity, free fall, and eventually, zero gravity. It’s as breathtaking a scene that I’ve ever watched and, get ready, because it lasts about 20 minutes. It’s the kind of scene that is so amazing that will keep you coming back to this movie for years to come.
I’m lucky enough to have a rating system on Cinematically Correct that allows me to reference someone without actually saying his name. I’m not comparing “Inception” to this director’s movies at all. However, it lives and breathes in the same world as those movies. It’s completely original, it doesn’t use CGI, it uses action to advance the story. It’s just a phenomenal achievement for Christopher Nolan and really has to be seen to fully understand its greatness. Many people have written about it and tried to expound on it, but it really is impossible to do so.
There is no doubt in my mind that “Inception” will walk away with the most Academy Awards this year. It’s a shoo-in for Best Editing, Best Sound, Best Cinematography, essentially every technical award is in the bag for it. I’m sure Best Picture and Best Director nominations are coming its way as well. After scanning movies to be released this year, there really can’t be anything to compare to the job Christopher Nolan has done. For his work to not be recognized this time around, well, it would be a travesty.
In short, my feeling is that “Inception” makes “Avatar” its bitch. It’s perfection. It’s a pulp sci-fi thriller masterpiece. The guy seen here with the cig in his mouth would’ve been proud.
There’s no going back now. Tickets are purchased. “Inception” is a go. There’s a good chance I would have gone at midnight last night, but Wednesday night’s late illness and the subsequent sick day yesterday waved bye-bye to those plans. So, I must be patient, get through the workday, dinner, all the while mentally preparing for this movie like I was studying for the SATs.
So, think I’ve built this up too much? You have no idea. I gleefully giggle when I see commercials for it. I’ve avoided the glowing reviews in an effort to have exactly no idea of what I’m going to see. I’m looking forward to this more than I was “The Dark Knight”, which I went to see while on vacation at the beach. Yes. I went to see a movie while on vacation. At a beach.
My giddiness over “Inception” isn’t really due to the story or the insane looking stuff going on in it. There are three reasons why I’ve been all over this movie from the moment rumors about it popped up.
- Christopher Nolan. Seriously, think hard. When have his movies let you down? “Insomnia”? Come on. Nolan’s the only guy to get Al Pacino to not scream and whoo-haaa his way through a movie in years. Even “The Prestige” is killer. It’s totally played out to say this, but Nolan is Stanley Kubrick all over again. He’s cerebral, visionary, and a master behind the camera.
- Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I used to tape “Third Rock From The Sun”, just because of him. Kidding. That show sucked. However, JGL (that’s what douchebag fanboys like me call him) is about to hit the big time. He already took a check and hid himself behind ridiculous makeup in “GI Joe” but up until then, nothing but tiny indie movies that he was fantastic in. He’ll never be the classic leading man like…
- Leonardo DiCaprio. Think about this. Leo could have gone straight to romantic leading man status after “Titanic”. Thankfully, he decided to be awesome instead. Just because he’s pretty does mean he isn’t completely badass. He’s the best, the best only want to work with him, and he hasn’t severely disappointed (sorta disappointed me in “Shutter Island”) in years. You can count on him to be light’s out fantastic every time out of the box. He’s the Roy Halladay of movies.
Sorry about the Phillies reference there. Had to be done.
So, how much cash will this make this weekend? I’m guessing around $60 to 70 million. I judge this based on listening to the people with whom I work. Of the six people that I hear or talk to on a daily basis, not a one of them has a clue about this movie. Someone I know actually had not even heard of it until it started trending on Twitter this week. It’s just not a mainstream type movie due to the mystery and oddity of the entire thing.
All I need to tell myself is that if I don’t really know what I’m going to see tonight, there is no way an average movie fan has any clue whatsoever. I don’t want to get all movie snob up in here, but most people want to see crap like “The A Team” or “Grown Ups”. I get that movies are escapism and people just want to turn their brains off for two hours, honestly, I get that. But, don’t they want to be challenged at all? Don’t you want to see something that makes you think? That encourages thought? When the returns come in on Sunday, we’ll find out.
Strike a pose Leo. Actually, if you could just stand there, look cool (not tough for him), and stare down and to the left, that would be great.
What really needs to be said about “Inception” at this point? Most people are falling all over themselves in anticipation to see this obviously tripped-out flick. Here’s my proclamation: This movie will be so good that it will solve the unemployment crisis in the United States.
The blockbuster summer movie season is upon us. This means several straight weekends in the theater watching things blow up, hear dudes say hilariously stupid things, see chicks wear skin tight spandex, and Robert Downey Jr.
Here Are The Right Movies To See This Summer
- “Predators”. Normally, I wouldn’t be intrigued by this at all. But Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, and a script by Robert Rodriguez have me into it.
- “Toy Story 3”. Sit back and tell me: When was the last time Pixar did you wrong? The answer is never pal. Never.
- “Knight & Day”. Yes, you all hate Tom Cruise. Yes, Cameron Diaz sucks. However, in the trailer, Cruise says, “Anybody follows us, I shoot myself then her.” That’s funny.
- “Get Him To The Greek”. There are a lot of people turned off by Russell Brand. I’m willing to give him a shot, but I think he may annoy me as well.
- “The Other Guys”. While I’m a bit on the fence with Will Ferrell these days, this looks very “Anchorman”-ish to me. The Michael Keaton factor makes it a must see for me.
- “The Expendables”. Sly Stallone is going to go Cobra on your ass and you are going to freaking love it.
- “Dinner For Schmucks”. Look, there is no possible way that Steve Carell and Paul Rudd will fail. This movie is going to blow your comedic brains all over your comedic face and there won’t be a thing that your comedic ass can do about it.
- “Iron Man 2”. Robert Downey Jr. Just look him up on this blog and you’ll understand.
- “Inception”. This Christopher Nolan-directed, Leo DiCaprio-starring sci-fi flick is the only thing that can top Downey Jr. on my Anticipation Meter.
Here Are The Movies That Are Wrong, So Very, Very Wrong
- “Sex & The City 2”. The plot’s a big secret but I bet it involves materialistic women being incredibly superficial. I could be wrong though.
- “Shrek Forever After”. Please, just make it stop.
- “Killers”. Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl? The annoyance factor is off the charts. I’m sad to report that Tom Selleck is in this. No word on how his mustache feels about it, but I’m sure he hates Hiegl too.
- “The A-Team”. I was all about this movie…then I saw the first trailer with the parachuting tank. From that point on, the thought of it triggers my gag reflex.
- “Grown Ups”. Please somebody tell Adam Sandler how freaking great he was in “Punch Drunk Love” and “Reign Over Me”. Maybe it will make him stop this insanity…or this will make 150 million bucks and it will never stop.
- “The Twilight Saga”. I know plenty of you dig this series but I have an odd reason not to like it. I’m just sick of vampires.
- “Little Fockers”. This will ensure that all the goodwill Ben Stiller built up with me for “Greenberg” will be completely and totally erased.
Is there a chance that spare moron Mo’Nique will have an Oscar in her disgusting hands before Christopher Nolan and Leonardo DiCaprio will? Yes…that is most unfortunate.
Make no mistake about it, Christopher Nolan is one of the best directors working today. His track record is pretty damn impressive so far, with nothing but good to great movies. He hit critical and commercial paydirt with “The Dark Knight”. Of course, no one in the Academy saw the movie and not only was the movie hosed in the Best Picture race last year, Nolan was really, really, I mean really f’ed over for a Best Director nomination.
With his next movie, “Inception”, Nolan may have found the right formula for “Dark Knight”-ish success. It looks pretty damn intriguing and he’s got Leonardo DiCaprio (who the Academy is dying to hand an Oscar to) in the lead role. I wish this movie came out this year instead of “Avatar”.