It’s going to start early this year. I’m already in full-on Phillies giddiness. For example, today’s work clothes consist of a brand new Phillies hoodie, a Cliff Lee thong, and nothing else. Oh yeah. Vans. I’m wearing some Vans.
So I apologize in advance. But I’m really not sorry. That’s just me being nice. I want the Phillies to go 162-0 while decimating every single Major League Baseball team along the way. Including the team that you like, whichever it may be. In fact, I hope they beat the team that you like ever worse than the other teams that you don’t like. If it’s the Mets, I hope they double beat them.
A quick search through the substantial archives of Cinematically Correct will reveal that I am a Phillies fan. I’ve written extensively about my sick worship of all things Philadelphia. To me, Rocky Balboa is pretty much a real guy. The “Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme music is on my iPod. Even though it’s steeped in disco 70s pop cheese, my favorite Elton John song is “Philadelphia Freedom”.
Last night, Cliff Lee rejected the Yankees and Rangers and chose to sign with the Philadelphia Phillies. Yankees fans are calling him crazy for turning down the money. Ranger fans are treating him like some sort of LeBron James jackass. Some say he couldn’t handle the pressure of New York. Some say he couldn’t handle being the clear ace of the Ranger pitching staff.
This is all horseshit. Think there isn’t pressure in Philly? We boo everyone, just ask Darren Daulton’s son, who was booed in a father-son softball game because Daulton couldn’t hit his weight. I don’t care if you are on a pitching staff with Cy Young, Don Drysdale, Nolan Ryan, and Roy Halladay, there is pressure in Philly.
Also, what about the added pressure of being in a rotation consisting of Halladay, Roy Oswalt, and Cole Hamels? If you don’t think those guys are going to be pitching to outdo each other, you’re crazy. Just ask Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine, and John Smoltz about how competitive they were. I mean, those guys wanted to outhit each other for God’s Sake.
LeBron? Please. Cliff Lee didn’t orchestrate this move. Cliff Lee isn’t turning his back on anyone. He chose the Phillies over everyone else because he loved playing for them. It’s no secret how floored he was when the Phillies mistakenly traded him almost one year ago to the day. It’s almost as if the Phillies and Cliff Lee knew that it was a mistake and this was to make up for the error.
Look, it’s not like Cliff Lee is getting minimum wage here. He’s getting paid a boatload of money that will take care of his family for at least two generations. However, in an age when most pro athletes simply take the biggest paycheck available (coughJaysonWerthcough), Lee took less money to play where he was comfortable. It’s where he wanted to be.
So in conclusion, suck it Yankees.
Cinematically Correct note: The picture here was made by Phylan of Twitter. Sacrilegious? Yes. Hilariously brilliant? Totally.
It’s been a rough weekend. On Friday, I chose to stay in and watch the New York Yankees get their face kicked in by the Texas Rangers, en route to their first World Series ever. Yes, it’s very exciting for them. However, I knew that meant I would be coming to work today and be surrounded by several brand new lifelong Rangers fans. As a demented Philadelphia fan since birth, the sheer idea of bandwagon and fair-weather fandom is beyond my comprehension. To see it regarding the Rangers to the extreme that I am seeing it today, really makes what happened on Saturday night even more nauseating.
See, I now have to spend the next week hearing about the silly Texas Ranger franchise in the World Series without my beloved Phillies playing them. Instead, the Rangers are going to get to annihilate a pieced together team full of cast-offs. I’ll give them a handful of players (Lincecum, Posey, etc.) but Cody Ross? Released by the Marlins this season. Pat Burrell? Released by the Rays and out of baseball for about a week. Aubrey Huff? He’s been on every team in the league. So, the combo of Rangers in the World Series and the pathetic scrub roster of the Giants makes the Phillies loss even more exceptionally painful.
Then, the Eagles go and blow a lead yesterday and get smoked by the Titans. One would think that Kenny Britt beat up enough people over the weekend, but I guess he felt the Eagles secondary needed one as well. Ellis Hobbs, to be specific. I won’t go into analysis here, as I would like to avoid going completely batshit insane.
The good news is that I did watch the final episode of AMC’s “Rubicon”. What a great first season. It’s suspenseful, dramatic, and way, way smart. It’s probably too smart for its own good. The only issue I have is that it did kind of end in an anti-climatic way. I guess I expected the bad guy to get his come-uppance. Instead, it’s kind of set up for an ongoing power struggle, which is fun times.
The bad news? This pains me. Deeply. “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” has not been good. It’s just…I don’t know. It feels so forced. I really liked “Mac’s Big Break” with the Flyers game and the podcasting, but overall? Bad season. It started off really poorly and it’s tried hard to recover, but it feels like it’s running on fumes. Of course, it’s hard to beat the greatness of “The World Series Defense”, which is the gold standard.
So yeah. That’s really all I’ve got. Follow me on Twitter. Root for the Rangers. Or the Giants. I don’t care…as long as you also hope the Dallas Cowboys lose tonight. That’s really all that matters people.
Yes. I sports cried yesterday. I stood in my living room, hands on the top of my head, unable to really make actual words come out of my mouth. Essentially, it was just an open hole in my face.
I’m not going to go on and on about the game. There are sports writers out there for that. There are two things that I wanted to say about the game:
- I took sick pleasure in watching Scott Rolen strike out three times. He’s a whiny baby who couldn’t handle playing in Philly. Coincidence the team started winning after he was sent packing? Probably. Scott Rolen? You just got faced.
- Thank you to the Phillies for this amazing four year ride. As a Philly fan used to 30 years of watching his favorite teams fail or just come up short, I promise to never take you for granted. Umm…I love you.
Man, that got weird again didn’t it? My apologies to my tens of fans.
If you are familiar with my blog or me at all, you may have put together that I love all things Philadelphia. I love the teams, the colleges, Will Smith, Betsy Ross, the Liberty Bell, Joe Frazier, Justice Sam Alito, Paddy’s Pub, Geno’s, “Trading Places”, but most of all, I love the Philadelphia Phillies. Other than immediate family members, it’s the one thing I’ve loved since I can remember, well, anything.
So, yesterday, I was given the chance to write for Chicks Dig The Long Ball, a blog written by girls and exclusively about the Philadelphia Phillies. Once a week, they let a guy write something up and call it Cocks In The Henhouse. Clever right?
So if you are so inclined, go over there and read about the three Phillies moments that made me sports cry. Thanks to Chicks Dig The Long Ball and O’Malley for giving me a chance to write about the Phils!
For the record? That is Danny DeVito’s foot and yes, it is quite disgusting. What interests me more than DeVito’s self-proclaimed troll club foot is the four guys directly above it. From left to right: Dennis, Charlie, Chase Utley, Ryan Howard.
They’ve done it. Phillies fan and “It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” creator Rob McElhenny has finally nabbed two of the 2008 World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies for the show. I thought that last season’s “The World Series Defense” episode was as close to the Phillies that the show could possibly get. Nope. It’s going on today, possibly as I type. The Gang (for those of you not into the show, that would be Mac, Dennis, Charlie, Sweet Dee, and Frank) are shooting all kinds of stuff in Philly for season six and this pic to the right is courtesy of DeVito’s Twitter feed, which is too strange for me to actually follow.
Hm, all this talk of “It’s Always Sunny” has me craving jellybeans. Raw, of course.
My hardcore love of baseball is going to briefly infect my otherwise stupid ramblings about movies, music, and TV shows today. Since the season’s start is upon us (thank goodness!), I figured I’d chuck up my predictions for the year.
As always ladies and gentleman, no wagering. This is for entertainment/time-waste purposes only.
- East – Boston Red Sox
Sure, the Yankees will score a ton, pitch pretty good, and lead the league in douchebag third basemen, but that Red Sox rotation of Beckett, Lackey, Lester, and Buchholz is the best in baseball.
- Central – Minnesota Twins
Will white people flock to Target Field just like they flock to regular Target? Does Denard Span like hitting his mom in the face with fowl balls? Most definitely.
- West –Texas Rangers
I decided that this division will be decided by whichever team’s manager has done the most blow. Congrats Rangers.
- Wild Card Bitches! – New York Yankees
It’s either them or the Sox, whichever team doesn’t win the East. I’d say something witty about them but my sheer hatred for all things Yankee has blinded me.
- East – Philadelphia f***in’ Phillies
As if. The Phils lead the league in all things kickass and when you throw in Doc Holliday, they are unstoppable. Someone tell Jose Reyes to go home and get his f***in’ shine box. He’ll find it right next to what apparently are his 72-year old man groin muscles.
- Central – Cincinnati Reds
This is such a chic pick to win the division. Go look at that squad. It’s fairly loaded offensively, with the best infield this side of Philly and the Yanks. I’m also going with this rare stat: they are the only team once owned by a St. Bernard owning Nazi sympathizer, which according to Jesse James, gives them the edge.You know…because he hooked up with that Nazi chick? Too soon?
- West – Los Angeles Dodgers
They lead the league in bickering owners going through a divorce, which scores high marks on the Cinematically Correct Rating Scale. They also have Manny Ramirez which docks them points. However, their division completely sucks and they win by two of my favorite words: Default.
- Wild Card Bitches – New York Mets Just kidding losers! Colorado Rockies
I’m sure the Rockies make the playoffs and wind end up scaring the pee out of my Phils in the first round. Sure, we’ll end up decimating them, but I’ll be freaked out nonetheless.
Drum roll please…
- World Series – Boston Red Sox vs. Philadelphia Phillies
Your winner? Come on people. Do you really think that Doc went through all this trouble to not get that ring? The Phillies make up for last year’s failure in the Series, make it two out of three championships, and ensure their place in baseball history.
Biased choice? Absolutely. Out of the realm of possibility? Nope. For once, I can pick my team and feel confident that I’m not totally being a homer.
For kicks, here are my MVPs and Cy Young award winners…
AL MVP-Joe Mauer, Minnesota Twins. He’s the best overall player in baseball. No doubter.
AL CY YOUNG-Felix Hernandez, Seattle Mariners. King Felix is just getting warmed up.
NL MVP-Carlos Beltran, New York Mets. Oh wait…I thought this award is for the longest time spent on the DL. My bad.
NL MVP-Chase f***in’ Utley, Philadelphia Phillies. He’s a safe bet to pick every year at this point.
NL CY YOUNG-Roy Halladay, Philadelphia Phillies. The Doc is going to throw the heat to announce his presence with authority.