The Batman Posts The Greatest Tweet Ever

Everyone, even Batman, thinks that these freaking “Twilight” movies completely suck.

Here Are The Summer Movies I Think You Should See & The Ones You Shouldn’t See. Follow Accordingly.

The blockbuster summer movie season is upon us. This means several straight weekends in the theater watching things blow up, hear dudes say hilariously stupid things, see chicks wear skin tight spandex, and Robert Downey Jr.

Here Are The Right Movies To See This Summer

• “Predators”. Normally, I wouldn’t be intrigued by this at all. But Adrien Brody, Topher Grace, and a script by Robert Rodriguez have me into it.
• “Toy Story 3”. Sit back and tell me: When was the last time Pixar did you wrong? The answer is never pal. Never.
• “Knight & Day”. Yes, you all hate Tom Cruise. Yes, Cameron Diaz sucks. However, in the trailer, Cruise says, “Anybody follows us, I shoot myself then her.” That’s funny.
• “Get Him To The Greek”. There are a lot of people turned off by Russell Brand. I’m willing to give him a shot, but I think he may annoy me as well.
• “The Other Guys”. While I’m a bit on the fence with Will Ferrell these days, this looks very “Anchorman”-ish to me. The Michael Keaton factor makes it a must see for me.
• “The Expendables”. Sly Stallone is going to go Cobra on your ass and you are going to freaking love it.
• “Dinner For Schmucks”. Look, there is no possible way that Steve Carell and Paul Rudd will fail. This movie is going to blow your comedic brains all over your comedic face and there won’t be a thing that your comedic ass can do about it.
• “Iron Man 2”. Robert Downey Jr. Just look him up on this blog and you’ll understand.
• “Inception”. This Christopher Nolan-directed, Leo DiCaprio-starring sci-fi flick is the only thing that can top Downey Jr. on my Anticipation Meter.

Here Are The Movies That Are Wrong, So Very, Very Wrong

• “Sex & The City 2”. The plot’s a big secret but I bet it involves materialistic women being incredibly superficial. I could be wrong though.
• “Shrek Forever After”. Please, just make it stop.
• “Killers”. Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl? The annoyance factor is off the charts. I’m sad to report that Tom Selleck is in this. No word on how his mustache feels about it, but I’m sure he hates Hiegl too.
• “The A-Team”. I was all about this movie…then I saw the first trailer with the parachuting tank. From that point on, the thought of it triggers my gag reflex.
• “Grown Ups”. Please somebody tell Adam Sandler how freaking great he was in “Punch Drunk Love” and “Reign Over Me”. Maybe it will make him stop this insanity…or this will make 150 million bucks and it will never stop.
• “The Twilight Saga”. I know plenty of you dig this series but I have an odd reason not to like it. I’m just sick of vampires.
• “Little Fockers”. This will ensure that all the goodwill Ben Stiller built up with me for “Greenberg” will be completely and totally erased.

“Four Christmases” Plows Towards $100 Million…How?

Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon have a mystical hold on the United States. They are able to star in crap like “Four Christmases” and, after two weeks, get seventy million bucks worth of dumbasses in the seats. Of course, my ass is unfortunately included in that collection. Yes, I realize that I am knocking people for going to see this movie when I was one of them. The difference is that I am ashamed of this fact.

The best box office news of the year is the performance of “Role Models”. It’s made $61 million and will probably top out around $64 or 65 million. It’s great news because it features two underrated comedic actors (Paul Rudd, Seann William Scott) and it’s an insanely vulgar R-rated comedy. I can only hope that this proves to studio heads that Paul Rudd can play a lead in a comedy like this one. We need more Paul Rudd.